How Will the Metaverse Affect You in 2022? Are you ready?
The Meta metaverse has been announced. In case you missed it, this is the metaverse claimed by Facebook Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg. The Zuck has proclaimed a brave new world where no one ever goes anywhere, anymore, anytime.
People won’t go out to visit their friends anymore. Instead, they will stay home in the hive with their virtual reality headsets living in a fantastic universe of their own creation. Well. No. Maybe not quite. The Zuck and his friends are building this brave new world, but YOU. WILL. LIKE. IT! Because Zuck.
Mark Zuckerberg is the creator and CEO of Facebook Meta. After years of branding and hundreds of millions of subscribers, the Zuck has decided to change the highly successful Facebook brand name to Meta, breaking every known rule about branding. But he can lose a billion or two if he has to. Because the metaverse must arise!
This new platform is going to be the most private system ever! Facebook Meta, is getting rid of their face recognition system and deleting more than a billion facial identities from their database. This must be true, because the Zuck says so. And I have a big bridge to sell you…
Do you have to tell the truth in the metaverse? Or is that “virtual truth?”
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In this new “metaverse,” everyone will be wearing really geeky glasses. But you’ll make them look cool. No one in the real world will have bare faces anymore, anyway. Everyone will be wearing glasses and a mask… because you will be assimilated…
But you won’t notice this, because you won’t be really going anywhere. You’ll be standing in your alcove at the hive at home while you “teleport” everywhere thanks to Meta’s virtual and/or augmented reality (VR & AR).
This is going to save you a ton of money on travel expenses, because you won’t be going anywhere. Ever. Again. But don’t worry. It will seem like you are. You can even virtually beam to Vegas with a boatload of virtual cash and win every virtual time at every virtual table you virtually sit at! (Is that virtuous?)
Sometimes when you feel the need for are prompted to exercise you might leave your alcove to play a rousing game of virtual tennis. If anyone peaked through your window, they might see you wildly swatting at the air. They might understandably think y
our house has been invaded by mini-drones. But don’t worry. They really won’t see you anyway. They’ll be in their own home swatting at the air as they try to beat you five in a row.
Even better, the collective will be providing beautiful participation trophies for both of you, so neither of you has to go through the pain of winning or losing.
You won’t be able to see the trophy without your implant AR glasses, but don’t worry – they are so light you won’t even notice them! And you can get a free booster with every set!!
If you’re a spiritual person (who isn’t?), there’s even something for you in the metaverse!
Best of all, you don’t have to leave the comfort of your own home to do your worship time! With your glasses and the magic of the metaverse, you can simply stand up, think about where you want to go, and voila! You’re there! And you can be even more there if you have your latest booster…
If this all sounds like science fiction to you, you can be forgiven. Once. But Mark Zuckerberg and his peers are serious! This is the world they want to build, a world where the carbon footprint goes down to zero or lower, because nobody goes anywhere. Ever. Virtual travel is where it’s at in this brave new world.
You might like the idea. You might hate it. But whether you like it or not – the metaverse is already begun. Unless this present world ends first, this will be the greatest leap in technology and jobs in the history of mankind.
There will be far more jobs in the metaverse than in the present physical world. But in a very powerful indictment of our highly indulgent Western Word, a vast number of those jobs will be connected with gaming and other forms of entertainment and art.
What do you think? Is it a good idea? Or shades of Bladerunner 3.0?